Filed under: Site Update
… you passed me the 1000 visitor mark:)
Thank you for readin’ and being interested in my life.. Hugs to all of you outa there and to my closest friends some kisses as well..
Gonna head for bed now:)
-J
Filed under: Lyrics
where are we? what the hell is going on?
the dust has only just began to fall
crop circles in the carpet, sinking, feeling
spin me around again and rub my eyes
this can’t be happening
when busy streets a mess with people would stop to hold their heads heavy
hide and seek
trains and sewing machines?
all those years they were here first
oily marks appear on walls
where pleasue moments hung before
the takeover, the sweeping insensitivity of this
still alive
hide and seek
trains and sewing machines? oh, you won’t catch me around here
blood and tears they were here first
mm what you say
oh that you only meant well, well of course you did
hmm what you say
mm that it’s all for the best, of course it is
mm what you say
that IT’S JUST what we need, you decided this
mm what you say
what did she say?
ransom notes keep falling at your mouth
mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut outs
speak no feeling no i don’t believe you
you don’t care a bit you don’t care a bit
you don’t care a bit
you don’t care a bit
you don’t care a bit
you don’t care a bit
you don’t care a bit
Filed under: Canada
verwirrt. Angst. verwirrt. Was ist nur mit mir los?! Die Kontrolle verlieren. Angst. Ich bin seit Tagen ein einziges nervliches Wrack. Das tolle ist: Ich weiss nicht weshalb! Ich schlafe schlecht, ich bin noch unkenzentrierter, als ich es eh schon immer war. Ich bin nervös. Ich habe pausenlos Angst, etwas falsch zu machen. Also hier geht es vorallem um die Arbeit. Ich weiss nicht, ob da meine Prüfungsangst durchkommt.. Was doch aber lächerlich wäre, da das noch gut 8 Wochen dauert?!Das tolle ist, durch meine schlechte Konzentration amche ich auch noch dauernd alles falsch. Dinge, die ich kann. Von denen ich weiss, das ich sie kann. Dinge, die ich ja auch mitlerweile alleine erledigen können sollte. Was zum Teufel ist los mit mir? Seelische Unruhe nennt man das wohl. Aber warum?! Warum? Warum?!Heck! Ich weiss auch nicht wirklich, was ich dagegen tun soll. Wenn es die Prüfungsangst ist.. nunja, dann hilft wohl nur lernen. Vielleicht beruhigt mich das. Aber so kann ich mich nicht konzentrieren.. Ätz.. Das ist ja wie auf heissen Kohlen gehen. Was soll ich nur tun.. Vielleicht ists auch die ungewisse Zukunft.. Ich will doch nur nach Kanada… 
mehr möchte ich doch garnicht.. Was ist nur los? Warum ists so schwer und wird immer schwerer? Und warum ist da niemand, der einen jetzt in den Arm nimmt?
Ich muss was an _mir_ ändern. so geht das nicht weiter…
So geht es einfach nicht weiter..
-J
Filed under: Lyrics
Spent most of last night
Dragging this lake
For the corpses of all my past mistakes
Sell me out the jokes on you
We are salt and you are the wound…
Empty another bottle
And let me tear you to pieces
This is me wishing you into the worst situations
I’m the kind of kid that can’t let anything go
But you wouldn’t know a good thing
If it came up and slit your throat
Woah.. Woah… Ohhhh…
Woah.. Woah…
Your remorse hasn’t fallen on deaf ears
Rather ones that just don’t care
Cause I know that your inbetween arms somewhere
Next to heartbeats
Where you shouldn’t dare sleep
Now, I’ll teach you a lesson
For Keeping secrets from me
Take your taste… back
Peel back your skin…
And try to forget how it feels inside
You should try saying “No once in a while”
“Ohhhh once in a while…”
Take your taste… back
Peel back your skin…
And try to forget how it feels inside
You should try saying “No once in a while”
“Ohhhh once in a while…”
And did you hear the news?
I could dissect you
And gut you on this stage,
Not as eloquent as I may have imagined
But it will get the job done
And your… done
Every line is plotted and designed
To leave you
Standing on your bedroom window’s ledge
And everyone else
That it hits, That it gets to
Is nothing more than collateral damage
Take your taste… back
Peel back your skin…
And try to forget how it feels inside
You should try saying “No once in a while”
“Ohhhh once in a while…”
Take your taste… back
Peel back your skin…
And try to forget how it feels inside
You should try saying “No once in a while”
“Ohhhh once in a while…”
Filed under: Lyrics
got my stitches stitched, I got my fixes fixed,
In my aching head, I got my kisses slit.
Our gossip lips stuttered every word I said, I said,
I got your love letters, corrected the grammar and sent them back.
It’s true romance is dead, I shot it in the chest then in the head.
And if you wanna go down in history then I’m your prince,
Because they’ve got me in a bad way I’ve never seen a heart I couldn’t break.
It was never about the songs, it was competition.
Make the biggest scene, make the biggest…
Which came first, the music or the misery?
We’re high-fashion, we’re last chances.
Which came first, the music or the misery?
We’re high-fashion, we’re last chances.
I’m casually obsessed and I’ve forgiven death,
I am indifferent, yet (I am a total wreck)
I’m every cliche, but I simply do it best.*
And if you wanna go down in history then I’m your prince,
Because they’ve got me in a bad way I’ve never seen a heart I couldn’t break.
It was never about the songs, it was competition,
Make the biggest scene, make the biggest…
Which came first, the music or the misery?
We’re high-fashion, we’re last chances.
Which came first, the music or the misery?
We’re high-fashion, we’re last chances.
Go!
I went to sleep a poet, and I woke up a fraud,
To calm your nerves I’m feeling for my clothes in the dark.
Which came first, the music or the misery?
We’re high-fashion, we’re last chances.
Which came first, the music or the misery?
We’re high-fashion, we’re last chances.
Which came first, the music or the misery?
We’re high-fashion, we’re last chances.
[Note: as usual, words in the cd case are different:
"I'm casually obsessed and >I'm the best yet<"
"And if you wanna go down in history then I'm your prince,
Because they've got me in a bad way >baby<. I've never seen a heart I couldn't break.
It was never about the songs, it was competition,
Make the biggest scene, make the biggest >seen<"]
*I love this line!:-)
-J
Filed under: Inspiration
Sorry, this is a German thing..
Ich soll also Gebüren dafür zahlen, dass ich ein Internet-fahiges Gerät besitze, auch wenn ich gar keinen Internet-Anschluss habe?
Tja, dann werde ich mal ganz schnell Kindergeld beantragen. Ich habe zwar noch keine Kinder, aber das Gerät ist vorhanden.
Berlin, Patrick Kowal
*rotfl* 
-J
Filed under: Canada
I could have lived…If…I had been born in Canada… Wow, what a flashback.. thinkin’ so much over and over again about him… I don’t exactly understand why.. Maybe it’S because he was the one.. One time the one to me who made me feel right. My fairytale..Where the heck is my “And lived happily ever after” then?!
Miss you, B.-you jerk!(Greetings to Cran)
-J
Filed under: Daily life
.. U have might be confusing. Wchich decission is the right one? Is there a “right” decission.. or just many ways to end up the same?!;) Idon’t know, but I’m curious about it…First mission:
Pass the exam in November… Whatever will be.. I know my friends are with me. I love you for loving me as I am.
Thank you.
XO, J
Filed under: Daily life
Quite fine. Still feeling dizzy. Had the “Rotary Club” Doc, whichwas pretty cool. I like him. He’s a very nice and curious guy. (Maybe seeing him next Thur for lunch..;)[They are meeting at our restaurant!]) Has some very nice nurses and it was a good day so far. I mean, as good as a day can be with having an operation, of course..
Had my appointment for 10 got to the dressingroom by 10.30 afterwards I got ready made for my narcosis, which was a bit complicted since my vains a very tiny and hard to find. But the “Chef nurse” which was curiously a him, took it easy and made it perfect. I fell asleep really fast not as last time, when I was joking around about “Scrubs” and the Doc was a lil bit nervous because I didn’t fall asleep. This time it was like 1-2 mins and I was into my sweetest dreams. The operation took about 1 hour and the very sweet voice of a nurse were calling me and asking me if I was ok. I said yes but immediately I started to cry because of the pain. She was really sweet and said it will be ok as soon as the drugs being effective. I felt a lil sick as well but it got over and after like an hour in the wakeup room I was ok to get up and get dressed again. My nurse Nina(she’s very pretty and sweet) got me the phone to call my sis&Daddy and told me about her having pins in her thigh.(she got it because of a motorcycle accident.. uah) My Daddy picked me up and we went for McDonalds because that’S the place childeren go with their Daddies after an operation..;)
Hm.. feeling tired again.. mabe ttyl..
-J
